BLOG #08b - Violence - Handling It
As I suggested in last week's blog, many of us often find ourselves in places where we simply need to be, and many of those places expose us to the overt possibility of encountering violence, either toward us or around us.
You have done your best to avoid being in the "wrong place, wrong time" scenario. You have eliminated distractions and even varied your routes and schedules, where possible. And you have taking great pains to organize your purse and/or wallet, to minimize your fumble time while in "the zone." What more can you do if all that is done, and something still comes your way?
Today, here are just a few tips on how to "handle it" when violence visits.
1. CALM DOWN
In any stressful situation, humankind tends to revert to animal instincts. That is to say: we are likely to freeze up, which is just the mind being unable to react out of logic, so that it reacts out of fearfulness. The fear is our friend, as it does allow us to get out of harm's way, in many instances. But sometimes, we cannot avoid the onslaught of violence.
2. RESOLVE TO SURVIVE
I can remember when I was about 12 years old, and I nearly drowned (literally): I kept thrashing about, dropping to the bottom of the circle pool (which was about 1 foot deeper than I was tall), and kicking back to the surface about 1.5-2 minutes for air. I can remember watching so many cartoons that told me that "you only go underneath the surface 3 times, then you are officially DROWNED." I broke that myth on THAT day by a count of 4 or 5, and then…. believe it or not, I was rescued… (cue the rimshot..) Well, my point is this: If you could imagine yourself in my situation, and capture that sense of urgency and refusal to die, then apply it in a violent situation, you would survive. Your mind will make a way, and once you know that, the proper method of your escape will likely present itself.
3. BASIC SELF-DEFENSE
This is not about technique… or is it? Most people who begin learning martial arts do not use technique, as a first instinct, in a self-defense situation. If they have grasped the idea of "Calming Down", first, then they are more likely to begin using techniques learned. If they have NOT, then the "Survival Instinct" will come into play, but that may also bring about some recklessness. The benefit of martial arts training under a qualified instructor is that he or she will ensure that you are "properly wired" for self-protection.
4. PRESERVATION OF LIFE (Self-Preservation, etc.)
Another of the gems my father passed onto me: Learn to Protect yourself so that you may be able to protect those you love. Although we can never be prepared at all times for all things, it is of KEY import that we open ourselves to the idea that the handling of violence may call upon us to "do nothing" in a situation. This is usually the case when there are others about us who would be victims because of our decision to react agains an assailant. Sometimes, we have to sit back and observe until we are in position to deal with the danger on terms that we can live with.
5. LAST RESORT
If, as it does happen, you see that there is no way around it, sometimes you have to become the violence. This has ramifications, legally, spiritually and psychologically, and I will try to touch on a few of them, in next week's blog.
Well, there you have it. In a violent world (which is nothing new), we need to be able to flow in peace. You start by trying to avoid it, because violence is never an act of love. (That's another topic, soon!). If you have to deal with violence, handle it as you would a hot potato: don't allow yourself to firmly "accept" it while it may yet hurt you; Recognize it is what it is: 'hot'; preserve its worth by not just letting it hit the floor and ruining the meal; and after all is said and done, be prepared to mash it, if called for.
Hmmm.. Anyone else got a hankerin' for some mashed potatoes? I'll catch you, later…
(Next week: Violence: The fallout..)
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