Violence - or How To Survive in a Violent World - Part C (Apr. 2013)

BLOG #08c -  Violence - The Fallout

Just a few words, following up on last week's blog, regarding the fallout of violence:

"LAST RESORT

 If, as it does happen, you see that there is no way around it,  sometimes you have to become the violence.  This has ramifications, legally, spiritually and psychologically…"  

VICTIMIZATION

Violence creates victims which may perpetuate more victims and effectively produce more victims.  

In our society, we often see generations of pain passed down from parent to child, and it usually ends up being systematically spread to create subcultures of crime and violence.  Ask yourself:  What is the likelihood that a violent criminal will have children who are happy during their childhood?  Even if they make it to adulthood without full exposure to their family's violence, they are pretty likely to get some residual effect of association WITH the violence perpetuated.  I won't elaborate on any specific violent criminal, but let us just agree that if Hannibal Lecter had a son, people would probably associate the son to the father's activities, to some degree.  He might, as a result, receive ridicule and torment from peers.  Sooner or later, he may act out, violently.  

These days, we can look at celebrities's lives and violence, as the media parades it into mainstream viewing.  How many of them had acts perpetrated against them, and are living them out, in a very visible (well-funded, thanks to you and me) way?  Do you think that the young minds (also watching) are not effected, perhaps even idolizing some of the violent acts publicized?  Make no mistake about it:  those young minds are victims, after the fact.  And how many of them end up locked up or dead trying to emulate the acts or what they were led to believe were the acts of violence masquerading as "being a real man, woman, thug, etc..?  Don't get me wrong:  This is not a knock against any particular celebrity or performer.  This is just the most visible example I could find in common society.     

LEGALITIES   

I have already mentioned the continually-growing number of youths being locked up and killed while acting out the violence passed down.  That is just one level of the legal fallout of violence.  

Even those who would protect themselves (or the weak who cannot) are faced with the distinct possibility of having to fight in court, even after having fought for their lives.   It is important, therefore, that we do not "go overboard" in our zeal to be rid of an attacker.

Of course, when it comes down to you or them dying, then legal troubles take a far corner in the back of the room.  After all, it doesn't make sense to die, unnecessarily, just to avoid having to deal with our "Just Us" system.  That would be like… destroying your mailbox just to avoid having to get bills.

PSYCHOLOGICAL WELFARE

People who have done violent deeds toward others are often tortured souls.  In protecting our self, we have to be aware and disciplined enough to do only as much as is necessary to get clear of danger.  This kind of self-control serves us from a legal position, as well as from the psychological standpoint.  

After having avoided some of the violence around our world, and when faced with such situations which cause us to have need of the tools of self-protection, we are left with the need for compassion and appreciation for life to keep us from falling into the darker parts of our worst selves.  

I will end this blog with a little story:

When I was growing up, there was a kid I knew, very well, and we grew up and apart.  While in high school, he was pressured into joining a violent gang, which was not out-of-the-norm, unless you liked getting beat by groups of violent kids.  Well, he joined, and after awhile, he found that one of his new peers was still putting unfair pressure on him, so he decided to join the rival gang, as well.  It did not last for very long, because although he was able to get some moves done to protect himself against the one assailant, he now found himself in a crossfire between the two gangs… with nowhere to run!  

He managed to survive, with a little help from some young "neutral" martial arts masters-in-the-making, and their mission became clear, as a result.  And that is why part of my mission is to provide martial arts training and guidance to youths who want to avoid becoming powerless victims of inner city violence, because the truth is:  there is no power in violence.  People who rely on violence are usually fighting for control of something that they have no hope of actually controlling, and it will always end up the same:  pointless.

Violence - or How To Survive in a Violent World - Part B (Apr., 2013)

BLOG #08b -  Violence -   Handling It

As I suggested in last week's blog, many of us often find ourselves in places where we simply need to be, and many of those places expose us to the overt possibility of encountering violence, either toward us or around us.  

You have done your best to avoid being in the "wrong place, wrong time" scenario.  You have eliminated distractions and even varied your routes and schedules, where possible.  And you have taking great pains to organize your purse and/or wallet, to minimize your fumble time while in "the zone."  What more can you do if all that is done, and something still comes your way?

Today, here are just a few tips on how to "handle it" when violence visits.

1.  CALM DOWN

In any stressful situation, humankind tends to revert to animal instincts.  That is to say:  we are likely to freeze up, which is just the mind being unable to react out of logic, so that it reacts out of fearfulness.  The fear is our friend, as it does allow us to get out of harm's way, in many instances.  But sometimes, we cannot avoid the onslaught of violence.  

2.  RESOLVE TO SURVIVE

I can remember when I was about 12 years old, and I nearly drowned (literally):  I kept thrashing about, dropping to the bottom of the circle pool (which was about 1 foot deeper than I was tall), and kicking back to the surface about 1.5-2 minutes for air.  I can remember watching so many cartoons that told me that "you only go underneath the surface 3 times, then you are officially DROWNED."  I broke that myth on THAT day by a count of 4 or 5, and then….  believe it or not, I was rescued…   (cue the rimshot..)  Well, my point is this:   If you could imagine yourself in my situation, and capture that sense of urgency and refusal to die, then apply it in a violent situation, you would survive.  Your mind will make a way, and once you know that, the proper method of your escape will likely present itself.

3.  BASIC SELF-DEFENSE  

This is not about technique… or is it?   Most people who begin learning martial arts do not use technique, as a first instinct, in a self-defense situation.  If they have grasped the idea of "Calming Down", first, then they are more likely to begin using techniques learned.  If they have NOT, then the "Survival Instinct" will come into play, but that may also bring about some recklessness.  The benefit of martial arts training under a qualified instructor is that he or she will ensure that you are "properly wired" for self-protection.

4.  PRESERVATION OF LIFE (Self-Preservation, etc.)

Another of the gems my father passed onto me:  Learn to Protect yourself so that you may be able to protect those you love.  Although we can never be prepared at all times for all things, it is of KEY import that we open ourselves to the idea that the handling of violence may call upon us to "do nothing" in a situation.  This is usually the case when there are others about us who would be victims because of our decision to react agains an assailant.  Sometimes, we have to sit back and observe until we are in position to deal with the danger on terms that we can live with. 

5.  LAST RESORT

 If, as it does happen, you see that there is no way around it,  sometimes you have to become the violence.  This has ramifications, legally, spiritually and psychologically, and I will try to touch on a few of them, in next week's blog.

Well, there you have it.  In a violent world (which is nothing new), we need to be able to flow in peace.  You start by trying to avoid it, because violence is never an act of love.  (That's another topic, soon!).  If you have to deal with violence, handle it as you would a hot potato:  don't allow yourself to firmly "accept" it while it may yet hurt you;  Recognize it is what it is: 'hot'; preserve its worth by not just letting it hit the floor and ruining the meal; and after all is said and done, be prepared to mash it, if called for.

Hmmm.. Anyone else got a hankerin' for some mashed potatoes?   I'll catch you, later… 

(Next week:  Violence:  The fallout..)

Violence - or How To Survive in a Violent World - Part A (Apr., 2013)

BLOG #08a -  Violence -   Avoiding It

So, I moved back to Chicago during the Summer of 2011, and one of the first things I was warned about was "street violence" in one area or another.  The funny thing is:  one of the first things I was ever made aware of (as a youth growing up in Chicago) was "street violence."

Of course, over the years, the mindset behind common violence has not changed much.  It just seems that "the matrix" has everyone in a tiff about the economy, and opportunists take advantage of the media to create and/or perpetuate the mentality amongst the people.  So, what is the solution?  How can we prevent violence from darkening our doorsteps, or from overshadowing our peace-of-mind?  

I, recently, taught an introductory self-defense class for a women's group, and I posed a question to them:   

How many of you can dodge a bullet?

As you might expect, the resounding answer among them was: "None of us can dodge a bullet."

I countered with a simple insight, which I am sure you can get behind:

If you have avoided putting yourself in a situation where violence might have been the likely outcome, then you have (after a manner) effectively "dodged a bullet or two" during the course of your life.  After they opened themselves to this perspective outside the normal way of thinking, I knew their minds were ready for the lesson of the evening.  So, what would have been YOUR answer?  Probably the same, right?

Well, the point being made was that the choices you make to go into certain situations or environments does carry a certain "weight" in your efforts to stay safe and defend yourself, even in this violent world of ours.  

As food for thought, here are a few simple tips which will help you to avoid being caught up or victimized:

1.  Minimize or eliminate whatever distractions you are allowing to divide your awareness of your surroundings.   For instance, don't text while you are alone and unprotected from sudden approaches.  Also, turn off the mp3 player so that you can hear what is happening around you.

2.  When you are in a preparing to "go out" into the public, know where everything you need is located on your person.  If you are caught off guard in a dangerous situation, you may not have the chance to perform a body-cavity search on yourself for a weapon, keys, etc.

3.  Prepare yourself and minimize your exposure to violent acts.  For example:  If your wallet has everything in it, but you only need a five dollar bill, put the five dollars somewhere easily reached, and the wallet somewhere secure.  

4.  This one was taught to me by my father, who was pretty street savvy (probably out of necessity, living on Chicago's Eastside:     VARY YOUR ROUTE.   If you do something, regularly, try to create "purposeful variance" in your route, schedule, pace and everything else you can to keep any predators from easily planning an assault.

These are just a few things that may help you to avoid unnecessary risks of violence in your daily life.  Do yourself a favor and think of some other things that can possibly help keep you and your loved ones out of harm's way.   

It is true that sometimes we (or our youths, here in Chicago and other inner city communities) often find ourselves in places that we have to be, and many of those places expose us to elements that would express their violence, either toward us or around us.  We will discuss that in our next blog session.

Building Your Support System - (Mar., 2013)

BLOG #07 - Your Support System

We have all been there, before:  Trying to get something done, perhaps a major undertaking, and we run out of steam or resources to complete it.  The task then lingers until we either make another fateful attempt, on our own, or the goal just dies, on the spot.  It is a very common occurrence, and may just be a signal that something is "not for you to accomplish."  One thing is universally true:  not many things can be successfully and fully done without some level or form of support from a party outside of oneself.  

Who have you counted on to achieve some level of success (even if that success is just to survive until you are able to fully realize your goal)?  Who have you been a supporter of?  When I say "support", I am not limiting the term to mean a financial backer, a counselor, or even a cheerleader.  I am speaking of ANY type of assistance you receive, whether mental, physical or spiritual.  

Sometimes, this supporter can come in the form of your teacher, who helps to reinforce certain ideals or information in such a way that builds you up from inside.  This is the case with spiritual or philosophical teachers.  In other instances, it may be the co-worker or peers that have concurrent tasks to be done, and your works jointly create efficacy that keeps you both employed.  Again, there is no limit implied, here.  

In a martial arts school setting, it may take the form of cooperative training drills, in which two or more students work thru a technique to build it into your individual muscle and physical memory.  On a higher level, the instructor's job is to support the growth of each student into his or her best performance and understanding.  This is usually done by making sure that the student learns to appreciate certain key elements, such as:  discipline, teamwork, respect and the curriculum of the particular art they are training to learn.

In each of these examples, we are given the chance to give and receive support.  In life, sometimes your own support can only be gained by supporting others.  This is the case in any business, because you are not going to be in business for long if you are not supporting someone else's comfort, happiness or lifestyle.  

Are you getting the theme, here?  

In a world where it seems people are so much "out for themselves", we keep finding the need and the place for "support" as a way of survival.  The problem is that most of us keep that limited perspective of what support really is.  We all need that occasional push to better ourselves, and that occasional pick-me-up that may come from people who see our lack or needs.  Likewise, I believe that most of us are mentally wired to help those who are the most helpless, in whatever environment we may currently live.  

If you look over your life, there are probably certain people who stand out as having influenced you in a very positive way.  What about the others who supported you, in whatever small way, as you grew into a better version of yourself (at whatever phase of your life?)  Giving credit where it is due, even if only in your own heart, actually creates a certain upswing in the deeper parts of your person.   

I challenge you to think about this, and write down all the people who supported you in whatever ways.  Then, give yourself some credit, as well:  write down all the ways you have supported others.  I promise that it will enrich you.

The next step is to acknowledge them, and develop a purposeful plan to maximize that support.  This will allow you to propel others as you accelerate the affects of their support to you.  

Support… It Keeps You UP At Life.

The Best Way To Learn - (Mar., 2013)

BLOG #06 - The Best Way To Learn (Teach)

When I was still a teenager, fresh in the martial arts, I can remember the first time one of my martial arts "senior brothers" told me to teach a particular young man some of the basics I had been taught.  I couldn't quite know how it would propel me, as a student.  After all, I was still a newbie, and I did not really understand what I had been learning beyond how it looked to me as I was performing my training.  Let's face it:  I was still a little awkward, and insecure about my form, so I wondered how I could actually help someone else without creating the same "bad form", in them.

The student did not last for very long (this is normal), and I have to admit that I did not see any improvement, within myself, but I did have other opportunities, after that.  Over the years, as this occurred, I started gaining a few things:   

1.  My self-confidence grew

2.  My ability to see my own errors began to expand

3.  My understanding of certain basic concepts deepened

4.  My technique knowledge was increased

In general life, we are all often given the opportunity to pass on knowledge and information, which is usually something that another has passed on to US.  In each instance, there is the same seed for self-improvement.  In fact, whatever it is that a person is able to give to another person MUST actually be in that person's hand, in order to actually "pass it" to the next.  Each hand that touches a thing affects it, whether in trajectory, temperature or just energetically.  Likewise, that interaction between the hand and the thing affects the hand, somehow.  It's just impossible for it NOT to.  Picture a relay race, of sorts, only not necessarily running with a baton.  The most important part is the actual passing of that object or information.

It's as stories handed down from generation to generation, in olden days:  The stories endured, but always found some additional coloring, due to the storyteller's experience of the story in his generation.  In each generation, the story's teller learned to "embody" the story, so that it might endure.  In most cases, there as a lesson within the story.  Would it not be reasonable to assume that lesson "took hold" within the storyteller, and may have even found its way into the mentality of that culture & generation?  I think so, and that goes to my point that the effect is usually mutual between the hand and the thing it touches.

Deeper still:  The adjustments we make as we are learning something new are usually subconscious, to a degree.  When we teach others something we have learned, we tap our own subconscious and relay it to the surface of our minds in various ways, until the recipient of that information has an "Aha!" moment, and gets the point.  Whether that moment resulting from that variety of ways comes quickly or through many iterations determines just how much energy you expend in that subconscious-to-conscious relay.  

As a final example, let's dig up an old chestnut:  "Teach a man to fish…":  

Think about it.  If you simply did a thing for someone, it does not take the same energy as it would to teach them to do it for themselves.  Sure, it may eliminate the stress, for the moment… but when they start to come back to you EACH TIME, to do that simple thing, it may become much more stressful for you.   If I were to frame this example with the martial arts, it would be like going in to fight off a bully FOR your child, rather than giving him the tools to fend off the assailant.  And from my personal experience with my own personal bullies, it is the tools that make all the difference.  The payoff?  You as the provider of the tools gain the peace of mind, and appreciate certain aspects of the lesson (interaction with the child) that will last a lifetime.

As for the chestnut:  There are teachers, and there are Great Teachers.  If teaching one man has benefits, can you imagine how much more one benefits by teaching many more?  Mastery is gained by such activity as the sharing of knowledge.

What would YOU master, in your lifetime?  

How To Learn Self-Discipline - Part D ( Feb., 2013)

BLOG05d-SelfDiscipline TAKE STOCK

To a martial artist, or any other individual who wishes to excel at a particular aptitude, self discipline is one of those "given" elements.  If it's musicianship, it is evident in the outcome that the practice was maintained to such a degree that it exudes a certain energy to all who witness that musician's performance.  If it's business, the time spent in preparation is positively proven in the way business transpires.  

We have discussed several of elements that comprise "self-discipline", in one way or another, including Savoring, Taking Action & Organization.  And in a previous blog, I even wrote about 4 Simple Steps that help you gain some appreciation during your journey to success.  Today, I will revisit that blog, but with some discussion on its correlation to Self-Discipline.  I am speaking, of course, of the importance of taking stock.

As a professional photographer, one of the factors that makes the biggest difference in my understanding and appreciation of my craft is the finished product:  the photos.  Among the ways any good photographer uses to improve, the most obvious one is to look at the camera's LCD screen to determine if lighting needs to be adjusted.  This is pretty much the same for life, in general:  You learn best by experiencing or immersing yourself in a subject.  As you do this, you begin to gauge yourself against the "ideal" outcome, and you adjust your depth of activity until you reach that outcome.  

As a martial arts instructor, this is a very important part of making sure the students are able to grasp the lessons being taught.  As I am teaching a student, I am also taking stock of where he is along my prescribed path for him or her.  And I must teach them to also take stock of their own growth process, which can be done using several mechanisms, including (but not limited to) the ranking system, the awards and by complimenting them on their growth.  

In your daily life, what things are you doing that you were not doing before?  Are they making you feel better about yourself or your goals?  If not, are you making mental notes and adjustments to get you back on track for your personal success?  Are you rewarding or complimenting yourself as you see your apparent growth, in a certain area?  

This is all a part of the process of learning self-discipline, and very important to your having the very best experience of Life.  Besides, if you fail to take stock of your own experience, you will have to rely on the assessments that others place upon your worth (and this is always happening in society, at work, play, etc.), and this is destined to be not-so-good for you.  And I will finish with the obvious:  who do you think is going to be more lenient in your discipline: you or someone who cannot see your worth?

That was kind of a trick question.  You see, if you are self-disciplined, then you may also be your own worst critic.  On the other hand, the best a seed ever has to offer is already within that seed.  All the water (external forces) in the world won't turn an acorn seed into a banana tree.

Well, that concludes this discussion of Self-Discipline, and I hope that it has been thought-provoking, at least.  I will see you, next week.  Try not to eat the entire box of chocolate, all at once.  (Exercise some self-discipline, for goodness sake!)

How To Learn Self-Discipline - Part C (Feb., 2013)

BLOG05c- SelfDiscipline ORGANIZATION

In my blog, two weeks ago, I left you with this analogy:   Self-denial and Appreciation are measurably powerful allies to your quest.  "Action" is the element that allows you to lock in the direction of your journey.  

Let's jump back onto that train of thought, in today's blog, in which we will focus on our fourth element of learning self-discipline:    ORGANIZATION.

"Organization" would be (in that analogy) the needle of the compass used in your journey.  When you begin to move, and you are moving in the direction of your goal (Let's call it "North"), there will be the many obstacles that you must and will come face-to-face with.  Having some form of structured plan allows you to work out the contingencies, so that your time and efforts (In Mandarin, I believe the term is translated loosely, "Gung Fu"  ((crickets….  crickets…)) ) are not wasted.  It also ensures that you have an actual chance of completing the journey that you mean to complete vs. the one that someone else planned for you.  

It's part "strategy" and part "tactics."  That is:  It puts your actions in the best places and moments, and then allows you to refine the following movements.  It's that simple, but it is not always easy.  If, in the example, you are heading North to a distant, yet visible mountain, a straight route may not be available for you to take.  

What would you do?  Naturally, you would make your necessary adjustments, while keeping an eye on your mountain.   Over hills, under trees, around rivers; no matter what, you keep your eye on the goal, but what of the times when the mountain is not quite visible with the naked eye?  You bring out your compass.  Then, whatever blocks your vantage point does not matter, so much.  Even getting lost, occasionally, won't matter.   

This is the benefit of having some level of organization in your goal-setting, as it relates to your building self-discipline.  No matter what obscures your vision or interrupts your progress, you are always equipped to get back on track.  

In martial arts training, it is very important to make time to train on your own time.  After all, the teacher and your classmates cannot force you to be your best.  Since no one else can be there all the time to move you along, it falls back upon you and self-discipline.  When you are going about the work of building yourself to the best you can be, every little bit of motivation and support helps, starting with what goes on in your own mind.  

One of the things I have always found effective is to get a block of post-it notes, and write down the 5-10 things that I have to get done, that day or that week.  I post it somewhere that I will often see it, and I mark them off, as I get them done.   Nothing too complex; just general things such as:   morning stretches, balance the checkbook, work out for 5 minutes, etc.   The idea is to let your mind work out how to best get these vital things done, and it will.

All day long, things are thrown at you from different angles, and your mind's job is to navigate them, while staying on course.   Being even minimally organized (having SOME sort of plan written or perceived) helps you to prepare for your day, and takes the burden of just trying to mentally do these things OUT OF YOUR HEADSPACE, by making them tangible.  It helps to keep the mind clear of excess clutter, and keep your despair at a minimum, while building the habits that you will benefit from for the rest of your life.   

Plus, there is an added perk of having a daily success. (Can you hear the swoosh! of the crumpled, completed post-it note going into the circular file?  SWEEET!)  And with that, we have the perfect seque to our blog coming up next week, where we will cover our final facet of How to Learn Self-Discipline:   Taking Stock.   

For now, I invite your comments about this blog, and also, you can share with us your answer to this question:

"What ways do YOU commonly build positive habits?"

Until then, be well, be better & be your best!

How To Learn Self-Discipline - Part B (Jan., 2013)

BLOG05b- SelfDiscipline ACTION

"As quickly as you can, snatch the pebble from my hand"

((swipe & miss))

"When you can take the pebble from my hand, you will have learned."

In case you did not know, that was from the old 70's TV series, "Kung Fu", where young Kwai Chang was being instructed by his master.  It speaks to the beginning of a journey, and to the mindset that must be present in everyday life, if one is to be successful at a thing… or even just survive in the world, as it is.  That mindset:  Action begets Knowledge. 

Suppose the young man did not make the attempt as he had been bade to do.  For the master, himself, there was not intrinsic benefit gained or lost, but for the young man, to not try would have meant he lost the chance to see where he was, as well as (years later, as the story develops) how far the journey would take him.   

So, in our last meeting (here, at my blog..lol), I wrote about appreciation of the journey, and the benefits of being able to see your growth process in that light.  Before that, I spoke about being able to deny yourself the immediate benefits, that you might enjoy the results to the full measure of your success(es.)   Action is where it all happens.  Without the mindset to actually start the journey, and the mindset to persevere thru the many challenges that life will present, what hope is there to actually succeed?  

Here's the landscape:  Action is the ticket for the ride, Self-Discipline is the track.  Success is the T-shirt, and it reads, "YAY!  I DID IT!!!"   Yes, that is simplified, but it still holds true.  With no action, the track is just there before you.  Standing & facing a direction, unyieldingly, does not equate to getting into motion, and so it won't get you to the finish.  Once you start to activate in a direction, THEN you can actually begin to appreciate and savor the nuances of the trip.   You can look at that element as the views and snapshots you see along the ride.  

Where the track ends depends upon you.  And since it's your goal and success that we are talking about, you have the power to turn the train around, stall it, and even derail it.  Your ability to see where you stand helps you in deciding what you are going to do, and how much you are willing to do to reach it.  

There is another element of "action" that important, here:  When you start an action, you cause a series of things to happen.  It's like that proverbial drop of water that starts a river.  However small the action may seem, it has such potential that you must weigh it and see it for what it's worth.   

My students (and anyone who will listen to me during a martial arts training session) all hear the same thing from me:  What practice you do (or do not do) in your own time will always show when next you are in front of me.   That's my way of telling them that every little thing (action) you do will have a benefit, to some end.  The more actions you do, no matter how small or short-lived, the more likely improvements will begin to show.  Tying those actions into a consistent habit or daily action (again, however small) will ensure an end result that dwarfs what would have happened had no action been taken to improve or succeed at something.  That "tying" of actions equates to "Self-Discipline."

When you and I are back together, again (my next blog), we will take on another element that will help you to streamline your process of learning self-discipline:    Organization

Be Well, Be Better, Be your Best…  and feel free to share your comments, and this blog (with your friends!)…   

Until the next time...

How to Learn Self Discipline - part A (Jan., 2013)

BLOG05a-  SelfDiscipline  SAVOR

In my last blog, we discussed one of the key elements of Self-Discipline:  Self-Denial, and some of the benefits, thereof.  Today, we will consider another aesthetic of Self-Discipline:   "Appreciation."

As you may recall, I gave examples of how self-discipline is apparent in life, fitness, and martial arts.  I also shared a brief story about my awkward pre-teen social outing (and my short-lived private escape from thus.)  I am going to take you back to that event, because there was an element that I was on my way to discovering, in that instance.  

While at that small party, I sat there, alone with the snack bowl.  My napkinful of mixed chips & popcorn in hand, I took an internal journey to pass the time, and wound up at the front gate of self-appreciation… before I was "not-so-rudely" interrupted by the host. lol.   That journey was this:  In the moments where I held and ingested each individual piece, I could actually taste the flavors, feel the textures (in my fingertips AND in my mouth), and hear the breaking down of the pieces as I chewed, etc.  Therein was the savoring made true.  I challenge you to do the same thing.

As I do martial arts forms, and even as I teach others certain elements of martial arts concepts, I always try to take the same purposeful moments to feel between the steps, the motions and the mental images that always present themselves as a very important part of the process of growth.  Any artist in ANY art form or discipline can vouch for this truth, but you are your best witness, thereto.  

For instance, I invite you to think about something you enjoy doing.  Perhaps it's reading a good book, or maybe it's dancing or playing a game.  Every time you set your mind to partaking of your chosen venue of escape, enjoyment or what-have-you, you find yourself in an altered state of sorts.  You "lose" yourself to the activity.  While you are in this state, you probably tend to recognize certain times when you are in full-throttle, and you get really jazzed about it.  Between those moments, likewise, you find yourself making certain corrections and adjustments, according to how you are feeling (physically or mentally).  Here's the question:   HOW DID YOU KNOW TO ADJUST OR CORRECT?

Therein lies the magic of it:  You are savoring and appreciating the little parts that make up the sum total of the experience in motion.  You are seeing yourself at your better, which tells your physiology to take note and get better.  When something is not optimal, you are sensing the lack and adjusting, accordingly.  The only problem is that we don't always give due credit to ourselves for recognizing that this subtlety is actually occurring.  That is the simple reason why we are not able to take control of how often the "magic" can happen.  Don't feel bad; Even if you never made a concerted effort to do this, it would still happen with time.  But imagine if you DID!  How much faster could you propel yourself to your goal.

This active participation in the process is the first step through that gate of your impending success in an aspiration.  When you begin to truly appreciate and savor the moments within your activities, they begin to flow into one another, rather than appear as rare & occasional goosebumps.  When you deny yourself the shortcuts, you find the pathways that expand your appreciation for the journey.  Savoring the walk brings fulfillment.  If you try to run through a door, you may find far more resistance than you expect.  If you pay attention to the steps, the micro-movements, then you can get  to your destination without so much wasted energy.

The next blog will cover this active process in a little more depth.  In your learning to become more self-disciplined, you won't be able to help making improvements, along the way.  Self-denial and Appreciation are measurably powerful allies to your quest.  "Action" is the element that allows you to lock in the direction of your journey.  

Be well, and feel free to share your comments about this blog.  Also, tell a friend about it.

How To Learn Self-Discipline - (Jan. 2013)

BLOG #05 - How to Learn Self-Discipline

Ahhh….  The year is moving right along, and we have gotten past the brand-newness of 2013.  Still, amidst the occasions of accidentally writing "2012" as the year, dwindling though it may occur, we are still enforcing the new habit.  Patience.  It's part of the process.  What are you, in fact, doing?  

Each time you do it, you are disciplining yourself…  Granted, it's not like you are beating your fingers for writing the wrong year out of habit, but you are catching yourself.  As you catch yourself in the act, you are telling yourself that you will pay better attention, and thus, you do.  Soon, the year "2012" will fade from your digital memories (your hand's habit of putting it down for part of the current date.)  This is, in a manner of speaking, "Self-Discipline."

For the next few blogs, we will discuss certain aspects and benefits of appreciating your "unsung" talent for learning self-discipline.   In martial arts, we learn that our consistent practice and mindfulness about our arts' various elements will build a certain level of restraint, and of internalization of certain VERY key proponents that will make us improve, despite our limited perspectives.  As I have already shown, by my opening example, it is universal and just part of human nature.

Let me give you another example, though:  As a young man (when I was pre-teenager), I attended a small social gathering of young people, whose families were of similar background.  I had always been somewhat a loner, and so during this party, I sat on the couch as the others went about joking and chatting.  On the coffee table, there was a bowl of mixed chips and popcorn, and rather than sit there twiddling my thumbs, I got a napkin full of them.  

As I sat there, I decided to make the time pass in a way that took me out of my awkward environment, and into my own space of comfort, by making a game for myself of eating this snack.  So, I began to eat each piece, separately, never putting another piece in my feeding hand until I had completely finished ingesting the former piece.  This was just the ticket for me.  Of course, after awhile, one of the older teens (whose house we were at) noticed me and came over laughing as he asked me why I was eating that way.  Then he pulled me into the board games that they had begun to play, and my exercise was done.  Still, the concept had merit.

In my forcing myself to not "rush" thru the bowl, I had begun a process of teaching myself about the first of many aspects of self-discipline, namely, "self-denial."   In life, we are all placed in the position of choosing to try to take on the "whole bowl", at once, or building character by taking a step back to see what is actually happening within ourselves as the process continues.  

In martial arts, the instructor helps to build this within you by not letting you get out of a training exercise, so easily as you might, were no one pushing you to persevere.  In other fitness training, the personal trainer takes on the "drill sergeant" role to do the same thing.  In work, it may be the supervisor.  Whatever the circumstance, there are those who help you to move into position, but usually to the end result of you being self-motivated enough to continue on without someone pushing you.  That self-motivation is the birthplace of your self-discipline.  When you start denying yourself the easy way out, no matter if it is only so that you don't have to withstand the chastisement from your instructor, trainer, boss, etc., you start to make it easier to complete the task before you.

It is much too easy to take the easy way, but it usually creates more of a burden as you approach your actual goal, whatever it may be.  Success is a path littered with things that we could have had "now", but with a much higher price tag.  Accepting the shortcut is not likely to be the best path for longterm success.  As I teach my students, "Economy of Motion" has a lot more to do with your mindset, than it does your geometry and physics.  That is to say: if you get to the finish line, but you have not made it past the checkpoints (the lessons learned along the way), it is not likely you are yet qualified to finish the race.  

Next week, we will discuss another aspect of Self-Discipline:  Appreciation.  Think about today's discussion, and be sure to refer others to this blog, and I welcome your comments!